The Last Fireworks

Written by Timawa on 6:10 PM


This morning reminds me of my late grandmother.

I don't know. Maybe because of a dream, or the scent of her perfume when I woke up this morning. Or the presence of a cousin whom I haven't forgiven yet for a long time now. Whatever the reason, I'm certain that I really missed my grandmother since the last day she called us up and bid her goodbyes with an unlikely good laugh. That time, it never crossed our minds that that will be the last time we will hear her laughter. She greeted everyone in the house over the phone, and with the loudspeaker, her laughter spread around the four corners of our house without us knowing that it would be the last.

Every time circumstances remind me of my grandmother, what reminds me most are the fireworks. Glaring lights up in a dark sky in Christmas time. It is because my mom, along with my titos and titas, used to buy expensive fireworks every Christmas season just to light up and put a smile on my grandma's face. And each time these fireworks bloom up in the sky, Ma will start to beam, a vivid memory that never erodes in my fancies since the night we spent the last fireworks with her.

My lola used to be the binding force in our family. Every time family problem arises, her kind heart and warm approach will always be her way to end things up. It just saddens me that until now that she's gone, family dispute between each parties cannot still be solved among our own ways. And honestly speaking, I am one of those guilty persons behind the scenario that disappoints my grandmother.

I cannot say when will be the right time I have to forgive my cousin for what he has done to me. The hurt have been with me for 12 years that every detail of it triggers more my anger. It's hard on my part to forgive him that easy, but God knows how much I'm trying to forget all those. Sometimes, I submit all these angers to the Lord; but temptation's just too strong that every time a certain thing reminds me of that memory, hurt just dominates me and eventually anger will prevail. But at least, each time I will remember my grandma's warm affection, my angst would just be washed away that easy.

The following Christmases have been so plain unlike those times when my grandmother was still alive. They have stopped our tradition of making my grandmother smile. Things really should come and go, and maybe, our family are still in the recovery process. No matter what, despite family disputes, each fireworks I see up in heaven will always be a sign that she's always with me, giving me hope that there is still a chance to build things up among us.

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Just morning thoughts :-)

Written by Timawa on 4:07 PM

My Nokia 2630 alarm clock worked great for me this morning, but I believe what worked greater is my drive to wake up early... Guess what? I beated the record! Haha. 6 in the morning in a summer vacation day. No lousy student, neither a hard-working one would wake up this early just to do nothing. Since I told in my earlier posts that I'm not a morning person, I would take this waking-up-early routine as my practice for the resume of classes.

Whew. Time flies so fast. June is already coming. Wish I could extend the summer vacay. I've got days left to live it to the fullest, and I'm trying to watch all the DVDs for at least two-day marathon if it's possible. But I've got other things to do so I'll find time for it some other days...

I can say this was one of the best, unforgettable summer vacation in my life. I've been to Baguio again for many years (and I didn't know it will be my last day in Baguio since Supreme Court didn't allow employees to bring with them their children) and for a week I've learned a lot about Baguio only through reading and walking. Haha. Mountain climbing 'literally' is probably one of the happiest thing I've done in life, and it's best to do it in a cold environment.

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Mommy forgot her fone again. The second time around. As much as I can, I don't want to make a big deal out of it negatively, but I've known my mom as an alert person. This basic valuable is never forgotten, ngayon lang. Could it be that she's slowly losing her memory? We'll all go there but I'm not yet ready. Not that I don't want to talk about it, but I still have to prepare for it. I still have dreams for myself and for my family and God knows my prayer that I don't want things to happen without her being proud of her only daughter. Communication between us will be gone someday, and I don't want this to happen without me being prepared... While I can't seem to explain everything, I know God understands me through this.

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I've watched four movies this week: Forbidden Kingdom and three other old movies: Anastasia, Chasing Liberty and Princess Diaries II, and I realized it feels so good being a princess! Haha. Forbidden Kingdom is a very good movie, especially for action aficionados because it has a lot of action scenes before Jason brings back the staff rod to the Monkey King. (I literally fell asleep in those scenes and woke up and Jade warlords against the Drunken Master and Jason are still fighting). I like the flow of the story, the simple but complicated circumstances it entails... Enough of it. It's a five star.

Among the three other 'princess' movies, what I least liked is Anastasia... The flow of the movie was good and my eyes are glued from the beginning to the rising scenes but I hated the way Anastasia's grandmama ended it. :-( Though its a great ending for most, I would love to see Anastasia be seated on the throne as princess rather than her risky escape with Bounine. However, despite it's not-so-good ending, I would rate is four star.

Chasing Liberty is a good movie, and based from the title, it's a CHASE movie. I like watching those like Apocalypto co'z it makes my adrenalins rush to life. The flow of the story doesn't surprise me, co'z it's a typical film. I was just amazed by the adventure they had and the stunning beauty of Venice.

My favorite among the three is the Princess Diaries II. I liked the story so much, however, I was disappointed in the college grad Mia who should supposedly and expectedly be acting maturely this time. Sadly, it's still the same old Mia, but not that bad because her character gives much highlight to the humorous side of the story. What I hated is the lodging of the villains to the Genovian palace for an unexplicable reason. Ugh. Guess they have nothing else to think about in order for Nicholas and Mia to bond much as they are the couples destined for each other. But overall, it's a great movie for me :-)

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What the heck.

I don't want to stare up the beginning of this draft co'z I will be tempted to read it and sooner to revise it. I don't want to cut the flow of my writing here, as long as I wanted to write, I will, basically to practice.

(While some people would say that writing is their way to make that difference, they would be thinking that proving writing competence as for me is the foolish thing to do. I believe it's a decent act, getting money out of writing contests and blogs also is; it's just immature for some people to think some other way and inject a malice in it).

This blog should serve as my online journal, and I usually make posts when I wake up. (It's the common advice of professional writers to make it habit to write every morning to hone your craft). Sad to say, I'm writing everything here, from experiences to common rants.. They say writing on your journal everyday is not an obligation, but who cares? I wanted to write.

Take care and God bless!

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Behind the Notes


Imprinted Graffiti is an online journal of Timawa (not her real name), a Filipino student journalist, who talks about her life struggles and experiences. Feel free to explore her world and enter into her realm of fancies. Good day everyone! God bless! :-)